My mind has been calm. This is a beautiful thing. But also begs me to question why. Are the ducks in a row, the stars aligned? It is genuine and everlasting? It is providing a false sense of security? It is because I’m just having a bout of goodness or it is because I’ve changed my diet? Is it because the sun is out and the days are longer leading me to believe there really is more time in the day?
Or am I calm because I’m not caring as much about the little stuff and is that because I’m calm or because my mind is preparing a bout of depression.
A paradox. An enigma.
I should be in a heightened state. I depart for a trip to NYC in a mere three days. I’ve not packed. I’ve not done a lot of planning. Just made sure we had a place to sleep and tickets to a Broadway show. That is it. That isn’t typical me. I’m beyond excited for this adventure yet feel no pressure, no worry. Perhaps it’s just that I’ve managed to calm my anxious mind and that calmness is bleeding into all things.
I’m going to enjoy the calm. Attempt to not question it.