Awarding Myself

I was a Girl Scout. Shout out to Troop 541! I had a Daisy Smock, a Brownie Sash and a Junior Vest. Patches galore.

I want a Mom Sash. With mom patches!

Patch 1 – Grew multiple humans, from scratch.

Patch 2 – Survived five years of sleep deprivation.

Patch 3 – Caught vomit without vomiting. Twice.

Patch 4 – Can feed a baby while eating.

Patch 5 – Took projectile spit-up to the eye and open mouth. Did not vomit.

Patch 6 – Can bathe two toddlers in less than 4 minutes.

Patch 7 – Ate cold dinner for five years and still gained weight. Victorious.

Patch 8 – Can read all of Dr Seuss without getting tongue-tied.

Patch 9 – Can eat candy without the children seeing. See Patch 6.

Patch 10 – Mastered the ‘Mom look’. Effective and scary.

Patch 11 – Can answer the same question six times without losing composure.

Patch 12 – Grew eyes in the back of my head.

Patch 13 – Can detect kid lies with pinpoint accuracy.

I could do this for days! What patches would you add? Drop them in the comments!

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4 thoughts on “Awarding Myself

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  1. Those are some serious accomplishments, worth more than patches–especially everything involving vomit. Ugh. I could never. You’re one tough lady…not that I didn’t already know that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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