What a year! This blog has been profound. Nothing can make a person accept themselves like full exposure. Nakedness. I didn’t know it at the time but writing about my mental health provided a clarity and closure I never thought I could find. A growth unforeseen when I set out on that journey.
As cliché as it sounds, I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Our eyes must be open. My eyes are open. And that wild idea of launching a blog 12 months ago proved fruitful to my journey. As the year past my priority shifted, the semester required more time and I adjusted the sails. Out of necessity I switched to pen and paper; unedited, ugly and raw. I needed that too. Cathartic.
I read a book. Well, I listened to it because I wanted to actually consume it. Take notes on it. Breathe it. Taste it. The Universe wanted me to read it. I saw it perched on bookshelves at every turn. It challenged me to grab life by the balls. Really hold on tight. And that is exactly what I am gonna do. I am gonna squeeze the shit of Life’s balls. I am gonna take what’s mine. Happiness is mine.
I wrote my last Facebook post this morning. Posted it and will leave it until tomorrow when I delete the account. What a time sucker it is. I’m embarrassed by the addiction yet I am refraining from judging myself. It is what it is and it’s over. It’s a useful tool for connecting but connecting to what? And when you really look at “the what” you wonder what you’ve compromised to get it. I see updates and kid pictures of my loved ones that satisfies my curiosity and then I don’t reach out to check in. I don’t have to. And that breaks the connectedness that makes relationships meaningful. It ruins the very thing it was meant to satisfy. I’d rather accumulate that time wasted and spend it on a lunch date with friends.
So here I will write. I will share in ways I want to share. Because this is mine. I am growing and want to capture that for others because maybe they are growing too. And we can grow together.
Cheers to 2016. I made it my bitch even though, at times, it felt like she was making me hers. Onward and upward, dust in my trail.