I took myself to breakfast. I happened upon the idea while in the shower this morning. There is this great little local eatery around the corner. I love their sausage gravy. It has heat, the kind that makes you feel alive. Like you are truly eating. I filet the warm biscuits, carefully place my scrambled egg upon it, and smother it with sausage gravy. It’s delicious. Apparently I was hungry.
I slept well last night. Heavy, deep sleep. Uninterrupted. Restful. I took today for myself. I needed it. I earned it. I deserved it. I was out of town the majority of the week on business. I didn’t sleep well. And before that, we had a cloud of rain that didn’t budge for four days. I felt the pressure of said cloud inside my skull for every minute of every day. I didn’t sleep well. I slept well last night though. Fully decoupled from the restlessness that travel brings. At rest with my family steps away. All was aligned.
I dropped the kids off at school and was ready to execute on my breakfast plan. My car drove me home.
I’ve eaten alone in restaurants before. Many times. Mostly lunch hours. Mostly while doing homework. There I was, sitting on my couch. Hungry. Why did I do that? Why did I make a plan for myself and then leave myself hanging like that? I was disappointed. I stared at the dog. He stared back. He was disappointed too.
I put my shoes back on. Smiled. And walked to the car. And the car drove me to the café. I walked to the hostess and said “just one today”. There. I did it. I was here and I was going to eat. I took in my coffee and looked around. Pairs of conversations circled around me. I sat silent. With a smile. I felt bold. I felt confident. I felt happy. I wrote a bit while my food was being expertly prepared. I reflected on my growth. How much I’ve accomplished over these last few years. My mental health, and the fact that I will walk across the stage tomorrow to accept my Bachelor’s in Business Management.
Today I ate breakfast alone. Tomorrow I will graduate college.