Why not start running?

I’m 37. I started running. In May.

Why?

Because I needed to do something. I know my mental health intimately. We are super bestie good friends. At the end of April I started thinking about June. Why June? Because that would have been our first due date. If you’re new here, you can check out our IVF Story. Continue reading “Why not start running?”

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The Lies a Mind Tells

I am so scared of another Great Depression. The kind that happens inside my head. I am hyper vigilant about my level of activity versus “sitting around”. I think that if I feel like sitting around and give into it then one day will turn into two will turn into weeks…. This is a huge problem. For many reasons. 

Rest is so important when it comes to self-care. I know this. I should welcome rest. Continue reading “The Lies a Mind Tells”

Seven Years Gone

Seven years. Long time. But not. It’s been seven years since my dad died. I won’t run through the details. But they are here if you’re interested or curious.

I look back over the year and see all that he missed. The big things. Graduating college and IVF. The little things. Like over 365 cups of coffee not shared. Continue reading “Seven Years Gone”

we all need a break

I’m well. I’m better. I have not been inclined to write. For whatever reason. I have yet to analyze that. I’m sure I will later. Don’t you worry about that.

Strangest thing though. I was ready to call The Doc. The gloominess was lasting way longer than I was comfortable with. I gave myself a hall pass to cry ugly tears whenever I felt the need. I spoke about my sadness. Admitted it. Easily. But still. It was lingering. I was dragging ass. Not wanting to take on the day. Sleeping a lot. You know, the usual.

Continue reading “we all need a break”

She who eats alone is a badass.

I took myself to breakfast. I happened upon the idea while in the shower this morning. There is this great little local eatery around the corner. I love their sausage gravy. It has heat, the kind that makes you feel alive. Like you are truly eating. I filet the warm biscuits, carefully place my scrambled egg upon it, and smother it with sausage gravy. It’s delicious. Apparently I was hungry.

Continue reading “She who eats alone is a badass.”

you can redirect your thoughts

“Stop whatcha doin’, cause I’m about to ruin the image and the style that ya used to...”

Just kidding. But seriously, every time I think “stop whatcha doin” I seem to channel Digital Underground. Matter of fact, there are an unreasonable amount of words that trigger my brain to trail off into a lyrical departure from reality. I like that part of me.

You know what else I like? My ability to redirect. Not redirect in the way we do to avoid tough conversations, or guilt, or grief. But the redirect that gets your mind back into the moment. Step it away from the cliff overlooking that deep dark vast landscape that is our past. I am mostly successful. But only because of practice.

Continue reading “you can redirect your thoughts”

Let’s all just exhale…

The semester has come to a close. I managed to pull off straight A’s. I have no idea how that happened. But it happened. I checked twice. I’m tired though, I know that. I did pat myself on the back because damn…..this semester was hard!

The Holiday is upon us. What a year this has been. A year of self-acceptance. A year of “give zero shits”. A year of laying it all out there. A year of personal growth. A year of wellness. And next year? Well, it’s going to be even better…

Continue reading “Let’s all just exhale…”

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