What a year! This blog has been profound. Nothing can make a person accept themselves like full exposure. Nakedness. I didn’t know it at the time but writing about my mental health provided a clarity and closure I never thought I could find. A growth unforeseen when I set out on that journey. Continue reading “bye 2016, HELLO 2017”
It is all about perspective.
How are you looking at the world and do you think it owes you something? It doesn’t. The only person to bring you peace is yourself. And how you look at the world determines how much peace you will have. Do you have to do things or do you get to do things.
I try to remind myself that I get to do things. Getting to do things gives me a different perspective. Alleviates some anxieties.
I love to sew. I love that I can take nothing and turn it in to something. It’s not the kind of hobby that produces results immediately. Most projects take time. Especially if a new skill is being exercised. I also don’t have a dedicated sewing space. I’m less inclined to pull everything out just to put it all away an hour later.
I also have another hobby; clothes. It would be great if I could just combine the two. But clothes take time and I still have not figured out how to attach sleeves.
Manners seem to be dead. A whisper of a simpler time. When people still made eye contact with one another, head nods, handshakes, and easy waves. Everyone is too busy. Always occupied. Unaware of their surroundings.
On Tuesday I was about a foot behind a woman who was picking up her kid(s) from the same summer camp as I was picking up mine.
Negative self-talk. It’s a killer. I know I’ve been struggling lately. It happens when I put my focus on what I’m NOT doing or achieving. The change in diet has been emotional. And I am feeling like I’m constantly failing. That’s because I’m not attaining perfect execution day in and day out. I put a lot of pressure on myself to reach perfection in my endeavors. And I always fall short. And I’m always hard on myself. But I am working on it.
Continue reading “how to stop negative thinking”
Just finished a long car ride. Those are the best for reflection. Scribbling notes. Writing down thoughts. I have many. Many thoughts. They are a little all over the place. Some are reflections of my past. Some are thoughts on the future world my kids will live in. A lot are in the moment as I reflect on the actions of one man taking the lives of so many in Orlando.
A single act affecting so many lives. So many.
I know a lot of people have things to say about it.
I know what the problem is.
How do you define it? When do you know you’ve achieved it? What are you measuring it against? Yourself and your personal goals? Or are you measuring it against someone else’s goals or achievements? What are you striving for?
I have a love hate relationship with social media.
I love connecting. I love seeing people achieve goals, meet milestones. Share love for others. Find happiness. I love watching babies grow. I love to see people enjoying life. I drink up the inspiration from others. I enjoy the comedic relief of some hilarious people. I appreciate how we can rally support from afar. I love seeing people overcome their struggles.
The light may have dimmed but it was never snuffed out. Today is my birthday. My Happy New Year. As I reflect on 35 years this morning, in a house quiet and lit by the sunrise, I can only be grateful that the light stayed within me. Buried deep at times, but never snuffed. I was always hopeful. I always had faith in myself. I had hope. I knew one day it would come together. I feel like it has. I never gave up. I never let it win. I have fought hard for my happiness. Sparing with the darkness, the sadness. A joust, that at times, felt never ending. But I’ve won. I am the victor.
Give yourself a chance. Have faith in your ability to machete through the thick brush of sadness. Fight for yourself, fight for your light. Protect it. Nurture it. Love it. It will grow. And that light will cast a shadow onto the sadness. It will outshine your past. Be your victor.