A bike. A smile. And some happiness.

I bought a bike. With a basket. It’s periwinkle with muted lime rims. She is an old timey easy rider. Wide set handle bars. A white spring seat. Whitewall tires underneath glossy white fenders.

I’ve been wanting a bike for a few years now but I kept finding an excuse not to follow through. My daughter has a bike and I taught her how to ride it. My son has one and has been struggling without the training wheels. I didn’t put the pressure on because of his condition. I figured he would get it eventually. My husband has a bike that I’ve never seen him ride. Now that you know our bike inventory you are probably wondering where I am going with this. Honestly, I have no idea. This is how writing works with me. Enjoying the ride?

Continue reading “A bike. A smile. And some happiness.”

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how to stop negative thinking

Negative self-talk. It’s a killer. I know I’ve been struggling lately. It happens when I put my focus on what I’m NOT doing or achieving. The change in diet has been emotional. And I am feeling like I’m constantly failing. That’s because I’m not attaining perfect execution day in and day out. I put a lot of pressure on myself to reach perfection in my endeavors. And I always fall short. And I’m always hard on myself. But I am working on it.
Continue reading “how to stop negative thinking”

ducks in a row

My mind has been calm. This is a beautiful thing. But also begs me to question why. Are the ducks in a row, the stars aligned? It is genuine and everlasting? It is providing a false sense of security? It is because I’m just having a bout of goodness or it is because I’ve changed my diet? Is it because the sun is out and the days are longer leading me to believe there really is more time in the day? Continue reading “ducks in a row”

I am the victor.

The light may have dimmed but it was never snuffed out. Today is my birthday. My Happy New Year. As I reflect on 35 years this morning, in a house quiet and lit by the sunrise, I can only be grateful that the light stayed within me. Buried deep at times, but never snuffed. I was always hopeful. I always had faith in myself. I had hope. I knew one day it would come together. I feel like it has. I never gave up. I never let it win. I have fought hard for my happiness. Sparing with the darkness, the sadness. A joust, that at times, felt never ending. But I’ve won. I am the victor.

Give yourself a chance. Have faith in your ability to machete through the thick brush of sadness. Fight for yourself, fight for your light. Protect it. Nurture it. Love it. It will grow. And that light will cast a shadow onto the sadness. It will outshine your past. Be your victor.

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