By ‘kids’ I mean actual human KIDS.

The hardest part of parenting is…….Other Parents! Yeah – I said it.

I’m not saying I am better at it. I think I’m mediocre or maybe a pinch higher than that. I keep them clean, fed, educated, teach them life skills and all that jazz. I think we first notice a shift when they become exposed to other children. As a working mom, my kids were almost always in daycare. So I noticed it early. But it really kicks in when they start school.  Continue reading “By ‘kids’ I mean actual human KIDS.”

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An IVF Journey…

A 327 day journey ended in 49 seconds. I could see his face in my daydreams. Chubby cheeks and jet black hair. I imagined his weight, I could feel him. Nursing him. His smell. Bathing him. He existed. In our hearts and in a Petri dish. Two of them. Boys.

Continue reading “An IVF Journey…”

Parenting: when you know you’re doing it right.

I’m kidding. I have no idea if I’m doing it right. We are all just winging it, right? We are an amalgamation of influences; our own parents, our friends’, social, educational, environmental. We just sandwich all that shit together and hope for the best.

Part anxiety, part regular ol’ parenting; each night I rehash all of my parental instructions of the day. I question all of it. Did I give enough context? Did I give an example, was my tone too harsh? Did I come across bat-shit crazy?

Continue reading “Parenting: when you know you’re doing it right.”

Love Matters

Just finished a long car ride. Those are the best for reflection.  Scribbling notes. Writing down thoughts. I have many. Many thoughts. They are a little all over the place. Some are reflections of my past. Some are thoughts on the future world my kids will live in. A lot are in the moment as I reflect on the actions of one man taking the lives of so many in Orlando.

A single act affecting so many lives. So many.

I know a lot of people have things to say about it.

I know what the problem is.

Continue reading “Love Matters”

Sixty Seconds Worth of Distance Run

Have you ever read the poem IF by Kipling? You should. It is powerful. My brother shared it with me during a difficult time many years ago and I have read it countless times. A copy hangs on my fridge and at my desk at work. It’s malleable; applying to a myriad of challenges. It is motivational. And positive.

If you can fill the unforgiving minute,  With sixty seconds worth of distance run. 

That is how I’ve felt as of late. I’ve been filling a lot of unforgiving minutes. I’ve not made time to write because life seems busier for some reason. And I’m making a lot of adjustments. My routine is being redesigned and I’ve not found the space where writing fits in.

Continue reading “Sixty Seconds Worth of Distance Run”

why I am not friends with my kids

I am friendly but not a friend. I love my children but we are not friends. Hopefully, if I raise them well, we will be friends when they are older. But we are not friends now. All parents have influence over their children. Fathers, step-fathers, mothers, step-mothers, significant others. Whomever is in their life is influencing them. But I think the mother has the greatest influence. If she is present or not. Being friends isn’t our job. It isn’t my job.

Continue reading “why I am not friends with my kids”

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